The Impromptu Phone Call
Item No. 24
“We’re edited.”
How many ways are there to communicate these days?
A lot. But one of them isn’t really “impromptu calls,” as much anymore, it seems.
As far back as 2017 there was already an article titled: “When I get a phone call I assume somebody died or is pregnant,” and another more recent article on the same topic takes another angle: “Let’s Bring Back the Spontaneous Phone Call.”
Both articles hint that the impromptu (impromptu meaning: “something done or said on the spur of the moment with no prior planning, rehearsal, or preparation…”) phone call has become a “social relic.”
It seems to have waned in recent years, in the wake of so many new ways to communicate with each other. Texts, primarily. With lots of emojis (See future catalog entry: Words.) But it isn’t only texts. We plan video meetings, we email, instant chat with each other. And that isn’t all. Add to that live-chatting, message boards and all the social media platforms and we’re constantly in touch with each other….. sort of.
Oh, and we didn’t already mention real-time team chats at work, or webinars or other channel-based communications.
The thing is that, in these types of communications, we’re sort of veiled. Or at least planned. It isn’t us engaging in a spontaneous way.
We’re edited.
It is one reason that one Reddit commentator claimed that calling someone unannounced, that is “impromptu”, seemed even almost aggressive now! Aggressive, this person claimed, because the call will go unanswered and the reply will come via text “what’s up?” or “I can’t talk right now.”
A person now wants to be prepared for it all.
A ringing phone with an unprompted call from a friend used to mean someone was thinking of you. Now it means that someone wasn’t thoughtful enough to text first.
Another observation via Reddit: “It can be mentally draining for someone just to talk on the phone. Coming up with topics, subject matters, or thoughts on the spot is now a lost art.”
And, let’s be honest, as the recipient, it’s hard not to confess to feeling a little inconvenienced when the phone just rings.
We don’t want others to bother us anymore. And, by the way, that can translate to us being afraid to bother others, too.
It seems the impromptu call is such a social relic that it has changed meaning. And so we enter it in The (Death of a) Thing.
What do we lose when we lose the impromptu phone call?
Spontaneity, it seems. Connection, probably. What happens when we don’t plan what we’ll say?
In that space, there is room for unseen sparks to happen.
A little surprise.
This idea that an impromptu call represents an aggression is sad, isn’t it? Such a call used to represent the idea manifest that someone was thinking of us and thought enough of us to make the call at all. In that moment, they dedicated time to the idea of us, so much so that they offered their voice and presence.
Seems that all of this relates to romance, somehow. Romance, that emotional feeling of love, excitement, and mystery (see catalog entry for Mystery) in a relationship. Its definition implies “thoughtful gestures, and deep emotional connection.”
There was a little thrill with the impromptu call.
We’ll miss that.
Specifications:
What do we lose when we lose the impromptu call?
The unrehearsed presence of a friend or loved one.
The ability to risk entering a conversation unprotected and without a plan.
We lose the surprise of it all, don’t we?
We lose the version of ourselves that doesn’t write, re-write, and edit everything that we want to say.